Diapers, denial and dignity - a hygienic move towards elderly care

"According to the UN Children’s Fund (UNICEF), one gram of faeces can contain 10 million viruses, one million bacteria and one thousand parasite cysts. Poor sanitation and hygiene practices (for example, not handwashing with soap after defecation and before eating) contribute to over 800,000 deaths from diarrhoea annually, according to the World Health Organization (WHO): that’s more people than who die from malaria".

India is the largest contributor to open defecation, with a mindset entrenched in the rural hinterland that believes that doing it in the open fields is healthy and relaxing. unmindful of the chain of microbial transmission that adversely impact children in the age group of 0.6 - 5 years

19th November is observed as World Toilet Day, to underline the importance of access to sanitation from the poor to the poorest. Sanitation to all by 2030 is the UN mission. 

A pledge for and by every Indian who has sanitation access: A collective responsibility and public sense to ensure safety, toilet hygiene,  dignity of and for every individual user, of any age - 

@AI prompts

"Dude, just because it comes out of your mom, dad or your child, it is NOT cotton candy !" Kalika exclaimed exasperatedly, disinfecting the area one last time, and stomped out of the room! She stopped midway, looked back at the 'you-know-whos' , underlining her stand yet again, " Diapers were invented for a reason! Not just for the NASA astronauts to ease their routine in outer space. Not just Infants, children, or bed-ridden patients, even for adults who cannot control their pee or poop. She did not look back again. 

But she did ponder about the diaper-stigma even in the 21st century Indian family system. Hailing it as a glorious ritual in the before-diaper days, the elders in the family have dished out how the womenfolk readily stepped up for clearing up potty trails not just for their own infants but also for the geriartrics in the family. "Yea, it was during those days, when women used loin cloth to contain their menstrual blood, before sanitary napkins came into the picture, but we did switch didn't we? We were made conscious about public and personal hygiene." was always her standard reply to the honourable 'diaper-under-denial' folks. "Unbelievable, living in the 21st century of information age, people choose to stick to their fossilized thoughts about toilet and defecation hygiene!", she muttered to herself, as she stepped in for another shower after getting the poop trail sanitised.

Kalika'ś is not an -one-off crisis, erupting in  Indian families, where elderly care is tightly bound by myths and misconception about incontinence and the embarrasment surrounding diaper-usage. 

Independent not free - the constipated thoughts of digress 

Folks who grew up in the 1940s - 50s in the pre-independence era, faced the cusp of a revolution : open defecation had only started to be curbed. Toilet hygiene was an add-on, not integrated with basic hygiene, as exposure to health hazards was not well known in those times. So, infants contained their poop in cloth nappies. Incontinence was not a widely acknowledged condition in those days. So, the elderly with incontinence and  the immobile took to bedpans or involuntarily went poop-dropping at places apart from the toilet. There was no restraint around that - as it was considered 'an old age syndrome' plus other caregivers in the family would voluntarily or be compelled to( especially the domesticated women of the olden days) clean up the potty trail. it was executed without much ado. Whether the 'cleaners' sanitised themselves later or fell prey to infections, unknown during those times, would never be known. Under such conditions families survived cohabiting toilet spaces, with the living room, kitchen and other spaces. 

Though  the Indian style toilet system was conceptualised in the homeland, the concept of toilet hygiene became sacrosanct only in the later years, and it was more or less an inbred family lineage than a social practice! Again, much in contrast to the ancient civilizations such as Harrappa and Mohenjadaro, which have showcased an exemplary sanitation and sewage system- truly demonstrative of the public and personal hygiene that would have been in practice even in those days!

Cultural biases about poop-dropping and potty-scooping - Dotty notions

But in the age of information deluge, with social media rife with news about any topic, hazards associated with open/improper defecation methods, fail to penetrate into age-old mindsets. Biases penetrate deeper. A few instances:

• Just like the generation before us, took crows as the bearers of ancestral spirits, and crow-dropping as a heavenly blessing, a similar myth has manifested in a new avatar- that poop-scooping tantamount to extraordinary seva of the elderly. Nay, the the caregiver  instead becomes a carrier of multiple microbes- ready to blow up as a virus-transmission agent.
• Because you are old, helpless and spiritual does not make your fecal matter sanctified ()- on the contrary, the elderly are prone to catching and spreading infections of this nature - as they hoard microbes to a longer extent due to weakened immunity.
•  Karma-cleansing - For the believers of Karma, which most Indian-Hindu families are, the belief that looms large is suffering nullifies your bad Karma(a burden from past lives), and suffering by being poop-scooper cum caregiver of the elderly promises a place in the heavens. By that logic, gastroenterologists, patholigists and sanitation workers should have glorious stories to regale to the world- does it happen? No. On the contrary, when hygienic alternatives are available during these days, the educated and enlightened are comitting a sin by overlooking poop-dropping, poop-trails as involuntary-and-helpless' incidents of old age.

Likewise, falsified notions around using adult diapers loom large, clouding the scientific basis, hygiene issues and dignity stance of the elderly who desperately need them!

Misconceived and miscarried - Denials less, diapers more!

Common misconception around adult diapers are:

• The diapers are bulky and noticeable - With advacements in materials and design, modern-day diapers are slender, making them easy-to-wear, and enabling diaper users with ready mobility
• Diaper usage leads to increased UTI and skin rashes: The best quality diapers are made breathable with skin-friendly substances to prevent dryness and irritation. fragrances infused in the diapers ensure intimate care. 
• Adult diapers are meant only for bed-ridden patients which is not true. Incontinence can occur at any age, and diapers are the best solution even for prolonged periods 

Debunking myths has always been a herculean task - especially with the older generation who are preset about their habits and do not embrace modern appendages that readily. But when it comes to health, safety and toilet hygiene, discipline is a must, even if it means taking a hoe and digging out a netherworld of old-fashioned ideas 

Best Brands for Adult diapers 

Depending, upon mobility, skin-sensitivity, budget, pant-styles there are:

Friends, AgEasy, Dignity, KareIn, Econap, Seni, Bonbon, Tata 1mg that are widely popular in the indian market.

Information source: https://www.un.org/en/

 

Samashrayanam - from a mere tattoo tradition to inking Lord Narayanś symbolism

How did it all begin? 

Straitjacketed in a 9-yards saree, I hovered around in the kitchen to witness the elderly women of the household (who never gave up the reins or the control switches to run my family) buzzing around the space like spin tops - with more ladles than arms, and more places to be than their feet would oblige. The food being prepared was for a Shrardh ceremony. an annual ritual that is carried out for a dead member of the family, In this instance,  it was the oligarch of the family who had passed away recently to whom I was closely related. As I reluctantly offered to help, both the elderly folks exclaimed, "No, no, you cannot - as you haven't yet undergone Samashrayanam". Relief camouflaged by regret, I said "Oh then I will listen to the chanting outside, please let me know if you need anything." I settled down on the steps that led to my room upstairs, ensuring that I had a good view of the fire-altar, the pandits, the chief performer(Kartha) in the ritual. The mantras along with the smoke from the fire-altar filled the air. And, as I closed my eyes deciphering the 'sanskrit' of the mantras that invoked the Gods, a booming voice disturbed my meditative state. The voice came from one burly figure of a pandit - whose toothy smile would have made anyone wonder, whether it was plastered on his face. But what diverted my attention from his toothi-ness were the inked emblems on the upper half of his forearms. One side represented Lord Vishnu'ś conch, the other his Sudarshan Chakra. 'Oh, well Samashrayanam', I sighed heavily, while recalling the minute detailing of how my mom, her brethren, dad, his siblings have undergone this ritual - by dunking themselves in the temple pond, and scuttling , towards the Acharya or Guru in dripping wet clothes. The Acharya would inturn be waiting for them  with blazing wooden imprint bearing the emblems of Vishnu to emboss on the forearm(This might sound like capital punishment given to erring students that made yesteryear schools notorious and their headmasters fearsome!)

 

 When the blazing wooden imprint seek you! 

   So, to the novices of Vaishnava tradition, let us deep dive into what Samashrayanam is. 

Samashrayanam is an act of embracing lord Vishnu / Narayan as the all-in-all, ultimate recourse to redemption. It sanctifies the Vaishnava devotee through fire- embossing on the forearm with blazing wooden imprints  of the conch and chakra. As a result, the Vaishnav who undergoes this process becomes eligible to participate in vedic rituals that generally prohibit the commoner Vaishnav.

 

( Believe me, no Vaishnav since  the Jurassic age has ever considered  himself a commoner- they are a supercilious lot. With the V mark smeared on their forehead, reflecting more of brazen audacity of the Brahmin-iyengar lineage than the humble learnedness of Vishnu ś Vaman avatar, the honourable elders wield the stick of authority to thwack the younger generation on their knuckles at every given opportunity.)

 In the midst of chanting the mantras, a couple of pandits started to whisper to each other. There was a pause in the proceedings , which meant that the chief performer and his wife (self) could take a break. So, I hopped across their space in typical Avvai Shanmugi style- so as to not to spoil its sanctity (I was not the sanctified Vaishnav, you see- for one, no samashrayanam, and two, being a woman - who is always considered beneath a man in our social construct, to participate in male-centric rituals). "500s and 1000s are enough", could be  heard above the incantations, distinctly. I looked askance at the bejeweled pandits and proceeded towards the living room. The elderly were seated there, chitchatting. It was the peak time for family politics, as the "óligarch" was also a banker for his brethren, ever since rupiah notes started crinkling in his treasure chest.  The BIG brother whom they had worshipped as God, despite his 'be-all-end-all' notion about himself, and general condescending attitude towards the womenfolk of the family(especially the daughters-in-law who were  looked down as sanitation workers). Everything he uttered was law onto the brood, every word was dictum that would dare not be violated. The family system was similar to Lanka's Raavan who wielded a power of influence with his riches and strength, my family's  oligarch was always right, beyond contention. 

The subterfuges of Vaishnavism that clink like cheap trinkets - O' Narayana, where art thou? 

  

So, I was naturally piqued by the sheer superficiality of the Vaishnav in display. "Talk of samashrayanam but walk the path of power and money-hankering?", I muttered under my breath. " Is this how your numerous temple-visits, or satsang or even the fasting on Ekadasi, has fructified? " With not a soupcon of Dharmic execution (standing up for the oppressed or political allegiance to power and money alone)in all these years,  placating the Oligarch's rule of tyranny over women and chosen family members, till his death, was their emblazoned life motto. Then, how could these self-proclaimed Vaishnav pandits be the preacher of  Vishnu Bhakti or the true essence of Vaishnavism? From between clenched teeth, I could only let out inaudible utterances "Build a temple for Raavan, Lankini and Surpanakha instead of emblazoning symbols of Narayan on your bodies!" I quietly sidled away from that place, with justifiable rage as to why the ancient scriptures' symbolism of Gods are grotesquely misinterpreted. And why the traditions put in practice lay more emphasis on ostentatious display of wealth than any means of taking one closer to spirituality? Forget spirituality, how easily one evades the law of Karma, the principle of Dharma, the code of conduct in day to day life, just for money and power.  It just drew a parallel to the saint doing penance during the day, and revelling by night with that money. Does Narayan unravel in a different fashion for these followers, who choose to abandon the core essence and purpose of life, for the sake of power? It was disappointing to learn that the torch bearers of tradition diluted the core essence of Narayan, drawing from the ancient texts, inferences that only suited their comfort and big bloated ego - the Ahankaar that only idolises the Shringaar and wealthy appearance of the Lord -  who is the preserver of creation. Could Narayan be limited by such a narrowed down perception of the perfunctory pandits?(Its like quacks authenticating the diagnosis of mysterious ailments)

Who is the Narayan existing beyond your perception - beyond the worldly affairs ? 

Manifesting  in a form perceivable to the  human eye, or as we interpret in our world of reality, let us decipher Narayanś form , his alankaar. The fineries, the resplendence of wealth painted as Narayanś countenance in our world, should not be construed as a brazen show-off of material wealth. 

 On the other hand, Narayan s alankaar embodies the resplendence of the stars and galaxies of the multiverse he reigns in. Take for instance, the milkyway our home galaxy  Its spiraling arms represent the Adisesha or the snake bed stead of Narayan, the centre of the galaxy - a blackhole of dissolution represents the balance he maintains with creation and destruction. The forces of the cosmos and the energies are ever churning like the galaxies.  and somewhere the equilbrium or balance exist as Narayan. His Anantashayanam pose represents this precise equilbrium. 

Through the illusions or Maya,  that creates vivid imageries of the nature of existence, let us explore Narayanś forms and  adornments 

- Meghavarnam(Colour of clouds)- The nebulous formation nurtures the creation of stars, just as Narayan the preserver sustains creation - the colour of the nebulous is symbolic of that.

 - The gemstones that embellish him represent the different wavelengths of light- at different states of enlightenment of the human soul. The opening of the mind happens in a phased manner from realising the 'transient nature of existence' to the pertinent question, 'Who am I?"

- The fineries of silk robes as his vastra symbolise the extract of fineness from the churning of the human mind , dissolving the dredge 'n' sludge of the material world.

- Adisesha or his snake bedstead, with multiple hoods represents the the gut of the cosmic system  both in the material world and the higher realms. It is a centre where all energies are channeled to sustain  assimilate, purge or absorb with the core in the endless cycle of creation and destruction. As  residue or the wasteful poison of this process is spewed out, the 'gut' elevates itself to the Adisesha  the state of control and stability, having spewed the poison of the doshas arising out of the five elements (attachment, anger, greed, etc)of human existence, ultimately becoming the resting place of Narayana himself.

- Lakshmi,  his consort represents this abundance of wealth. Her presence by his feet doesn't indicate subservience to the Lord as often misconstrued, but anchorage so that every time his feet touch the earth to establish Dharma, she becomes the Shakti of sthirtha(stability) to help him maintain balance. Wealth in many forms flows as a means of sustenance in the mortal world, which Vishnu nurtures.  Lakshmi also resides in Vishnuś Vaksha-sthala (chest), indicating that the stree-shakti of the cosmos reigns in one of his core energy chakras.

All the ornamental practices associated with worshipping Narayana, and what is prescribed for Vaishnavas in general are meant for purification of the mind, body and spirit, basically to  mitigate the doshas associated with the constituent Panchaboothas(five  elements of our bodies) of our bodies.  The sacramental bath for instance, using sandal paste, cools down the system to help channel the inner energy to higher levels of spirituality.

Understanding wealth beyond the material aspect 

Wealth in the spiritual context is of knowledge , wisdom, and enlightenment. The meaning of wealth also funnels down to contentment or 'trupti' ; 'tushti' This is contrary to what we have been made to understand that Lakshmi , Narayana s wealth is a superficial material possession.

The material wealth that manifests before us  is for executing our daily karmic deeds with the earnest intent of upholding Dharma. While we fulfill our daily needs with this wealth, our shastras advise charity to the needy as part of Dharma to prevent us from hoarding - which breeds greed.  What is Dharma? It is the carefully nurtured  virtue  that exercises discipline through simple daily deeds, by helping us triumph over our negative qualities, and think of the larger good. 

 

In practising Dharma, we shed our small world notions, our limited understanding of our own selves, and pull up for the larger purpose of life.  Thus, realizing what we are really meant for, "who am I", beyond our social construct, our familial duties. our wordly pursuits for wealth, success,  and prosperity. A question that prod us - what is our core being? This core is what Narayan sustains or preserves, while stripping the layers that cloud our mind, the ego, and the samsaara of the wordly deeds( realize our true self or the atma, to finally seek resonance with the Para Brahman). The world that is created by Maya- illusion.

When Narayan manifests with the play of Maya - what should the human mind perceive?

Beyond Maya's illusory power , Narayan teaches detachment - through his Sudarshan chakra; resonance of the mind with the supreme force, through the conch, quashing of the ego through the mace, to enlighten the mind on the path of paramartha.

The lotus in his hand, represents the purity of the mind that blooms when our being undergoes purification- purging the slush, dirt and the dredge- just how a lotus blooms in the marshland- its stem lodged deep in that dirt, our spine is the stem that can flourish the lotus of our minds - a state of absolute bliss - as the lotus is unfazed by the surrounding elements.

The V-mark on his forehead represents the trigunas(rajas-sattva-tamas), controlled by his argya chakra - that is the dissolutioning force 

His Ananta shayana posture represents the cosmic state of equilibrium. In the ocean of ksheer sagar where he rests on Adisesha- His consort Lakshmi by his feet is the energy that anchors him during  every avatar 

 Narayan in all his avatars preaches Dharma and Vivek-tha( equanimity - discrimination between the real and non-real). His magnificence as worshipped through his many perceivable forms represent one universal truth- that beyond the lens and filters which we use to see the world, a reality,  infinite, formless and absolute exists. Following the basic code of living, simple acts of kindness, compassion, charity and empathy - embody the chief tenets of Dharma. The moment we learn to sift through the superficiality of the material world, we are awakened' to see the light of the bigger and deeper truth in Narayan s resplendence: To practice devotion to him by our daily karmic deeds, upholding Dharma and Vivek-tha, discern that the stratification or layering of our social structure, doesn't set us apart from each other. Be it the prince or pauper, the priest or Chandala, the Brahmin or the Shudra, in short the superior and inferior; there is no wall of distinction that exists. All that has ever existed are the multiple channels to realize and be one with the Lord, while discovering the interconnectedness of all living being. The channel of Bhakti, penance, Guru Sharanagati and others of the like to reach the supreme, opens up through a dinacharya that cleanses us internally - through daily mindful acts and thoughts that cleanse us and  bring out the resplendence of our consciousness from within - just as we adorn our Narayan, let us internally adorn our mind, with a wealth of knowledge, threading pearls of wisdom together to garland the Para Brahman in ultimate surrender! 

 Pic courtesy:@Pinterest